Red: Wedgied, sleepered, stuffed (with $100 bill)

Ted Dibiase's now a born-again Christian type guy, but back in the day he was pure evil. Or at least he played that. As the Million Dollar Man, Dibiase was the perfect villain. And there was nothing better than watching him stuff money into the open, hapless mouths of jobbers. He was aided by his trusty sidekick Virgil. And in this match against Red Tyler, Sapphire joined that duo. 

Red was in his, fittingly, red trunks for this one. These trunks were wedgied many times, but they weren't my favorite of his (see: Green). Still, this is one of the more humiliating matches any jobber's had to go through. He gets tossed out to the ringside area by Dibiase. And then, while on his hands and knees, Virgil yanks him from behind and tosses him back in, giving him a gigantic wedgie.I love scenes like that because the jobber is right in front of the crowd. What are the fans thinking? Are they taunting the jobber, laughing at him, smirking? Oddly, Red does not pick it out and is forced to wrestle the rest of the match in just a thong. Just like he would a short time later against Mr. Perfect. Actually, Dibiase never really gives him much of a chance to pick it, as he is on him instantly and sending him into the ropes for a power slam.

Dibiase finishes it off by putting him into the patented sleeper. And then the ultimate, and a scene I've wished I could have been in a thousand times. As Red is sprawled on the canvas, Dibiase reaches down and stuffs a $100 bill into the jobber's mouth as the camera gives us a great closeup.

Extra humiliation points in this one because of Sapphire's presence. I always loved the idea of female managers or valets watching jobbers get dominated and destroyed. Did they ever get off on it themselves, I've wondered? Maybe, probably not. But I love the idea of Baby Doll, Sherri Martel, and, especially, Jacqueline, watching and participating in the humiliation of the jobbers in their skimpy trunks. 

In my own fantasy story, I have a match of "myself" against Dibiase with a similar result as this.

Tommy Angel's white trunks meet Arn Anderson

Ah, Tommy Angel. What a fitting name. He was a classic jobber for a decade and we got to see him age, as he went from having a full head of hair to almost none. And his trunks changed. But fortunately they always stayed skimpy. But this match is Tommy at his absolute jobber peak. These white trunks should be put in the Smithsonian, next to Ali's boxing gloves. He'd eventually go to yellow trunks, and even pink for a short time, but none were as delicious as these, which seemed to ride up his ass constantly.

And who better to abuse those trunks than the hairy, mean heel Arn Anderson? Arn loved bashing and dominating jobbers. And this match is a classic. First the fact it takes place in that old TBS studio that was the size of my living room. Very intimate humiliation. At the one minute mark of the first video is the worst drop kick in recorded history. Poor Tommy.

From there, Arn grabs him by the rear waistband and fires him out.

Wedgie Number One. Tommy doesn't even have time to pick it and Arn is climbing out and mounting the poor jobber, grinding his face into the cement while yelling at the camera. Tommy gets a brief second to pick out the right side of the wedgie, but a second later Arn is firing him back in by the trunks.

Wedgie Number Two.

Arn keeps kicking and working on Tommy's arm. But it's good to see a man who enjoys his work.  Now we're onto the second part of the video. At the 40 second mark, Tommy gets brave and tries delivering a bit of offensive, which seems just to piss Arn off. Arn then takes the back of Tommy's virgin trunks and pulls up, forcing him into the corner. Hello Wedgie Number 3.

At about the 1:40 mark, Arn pulls up Tommy by his luscious locks. Christ, what I wouldn't pay to have Arn Anderson controlling me by the hair and grabbing my trunks every 30 seconds. Check out at 1:50, when Tommy's draped over the ropes and Arn is torturing them there. Tommy is facing the crowd, which in that tiny studio is about three feet away. Some women in the front row are pointing at Tommy. God I'd love that humiliation.

Finally we get to the finisher. And if you haven't finished yourself off by this point, just wait, you will after this. Arn lifts Tommy up for a face-first suplex, a perfect finishing hold. He again grabs the trunks to lift young Mr. Angel up. And then for the pin, he grabs the side of the trunks to turn him over. Love when the heels do that. Don't just roll them over by their shoulder; grab those trunks and pull. Wedgies number five and six. 

Good Christ, this entire match is nothing less than jobber porn. God bless the old NWA/WCW and their Saturday night jobber fests. For jobber fetishists - jobberists? - there was nothing like it. 

The Destruction of Danny Rogers-story

A note on my fictional story. It's currently available at jobberhumiliation.wordpress.com

I'm moving all of that here, but I have not figured out a way to copy and paste my text from there to the blogspot without the formatting getting completely screwed up. So I'm retyping the entire story, which is thousands and thousands of words. Ugh. It's a task for a jobber. Which is why I'm doing it I guess. So it will be up here eventually, along with a lot more jobber stuff. but for now if you want to read it it is at wordpress.

Red Tyler vs. Mr. Perfect - most humiliating match ever?

If there's a Jobber Hall of Fame, Red Tyler should be a first balloter, with 100 percent of the vote. My favorite jobber, a true pro. Endured multiple humiliations, all to make the heels look good. I remember so many specific Red matches and I'll try to highlight a few here over time. This is the top one. Red against Mr. Perfect. It's an infamous match. Shortly into it, Red ends up outside the ring. After taking a chop, Red is tossed back into the ring by Perfect.

This gives him a decent wedgie. Red's decked out in his delicious, awe-inspiring green trunks. You can see some people in the front row facing the camera start laughing when Red's ass is facing them. But the ultimate humiliation is still coming. As he's on his hands and knees, Red is viciously yanked up by Perfect, who then holds him there for a few seconds before delivering an atomic drop. Red never bothers to fix the trunks and, for all intents and purposes, wrestles the remainder of the match in a thong. The crowd is going nuts, cameras are flashing. Eventually Perfect pins him with the perfectplex and Red's wedgied ass is there for all to see.

Adding to the humiliation is that the announcers, Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler and Randy Savage, comment on Red's trunks. Vince says Mr. Tyler is having a problem with his tights. When he's yanked up, Savage says, "look at this." And it continues.

These were my favorite Red trunks. He also wore a pair of red ones - which received wedgies from Dibiase and the Barbarian - and a stars and stripes pair, that IRS wedgied up his ass. But the green were the best. Later he'd be wedgied in them by the Nasty Boys. On the embedded video, the commentary is not in English. I couldn't embed the english version so will just paste that link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ta6_dQuYiog

Red Tyler, Hall of Famer.

Welcome to jobber humiliation

Hello. This will be a place for fans of jobbers, heels and squash matches. I especially love pro matches, real pro matches and fantasies about pros. My heros are not firemen or police officers (though they are great at their jobs). No, my heroes are Red Tyler, Tommy Angel, Ron Cumberledge, Brad Armstrong, Bob Emery, etc., etc. Basically, any jobber who was brave enough to get into the ring in small, satiny trunks and be abused for their masters, ie., the promoters. Love seeing them wedgied, yanked by the hair, controlled in front of crowds large and small. Here I will analyze various aspects of jobberhood - my favorites, favorite heels, favorite moves, most memorable matches - and you will also find an original tale I wrote, called The Destruction of Danny Rogers, which is about one poor jobber's descent into jobber hell, where he's humiliated by Windham, Funk, Orton, Buzz Sawyer (I know he's dead, but this is just a story), and more.

Hope you enjoy.